In these eight months, where have I been, I can't tell. Too much has happened. It's hard to say. My heart's--I have--been torn and stretched and grown and shattered and filled and overflowing and tenderized like a wad of ground beef, changed, formed, aligned, confused, longing, sustained.
My sister got engaged since the last time I wrote. Now 4.5 months till the big day.
Mission Adventures was six months ago. I'd say that's where the stretching really got kicked up a notch. There's something about being outside your comfort zone that is incredible. Makes you always examine, ground yourself. I wish it were always like that. Theoretically, I suppose it should--being a stranger in the world (one foot in the city of God and one in the city of Man, a la Augustine). I think I know now where all the outletting went between then and now. Yes, I kept a journal. Thank God, because my own memory would have failed me otherwise. Pages filled with prayers, thoughts, slogans, concerns, hopefulness, lists, reminders, doodles, creation.
Fall 2009 semester started three months ago. And in the craziness of assignments and research and papers and caffeine, not doing laundry and/or dishes, wondering where the heck the days have been disappearing to, I've managed to survive with the least bit of levelheadedness. I became a Religion major at some point. To understand humanity. To understand what people believe in at the most fundamental level. Traditions, yes, customs, yes, but more than that--purpose.
I'm trying to figure out life. Future plans: going abroad to India next fall. How to write my papers, get through the rest of the semester's assignments. How to gently silence the noise around me--literally and mentally. Taking responsibilities.
More than that, I'm living in hope. Worry not, there's more to come. For now, I think I should be a faithful student and close my eyes for a bit.
